I know that for the long time reads of this blog that i used to post any and every sermon i preached.. so I did another one, but this time I posted the audio and the written copy to the Praxis Podcast.. so if your interested head over to the Praxis Podcast website and listen to it or download it through iTunes! (please subscribe to it via iTunes…. that would help us greatly!

http://praxispodcast.com

OK, I was reading the blog of a friend and he got punked by Larknews.com . 1st off I must say that the first time I went there I got punked as well, but man is it worth it! The reason? Well, Christians love to take their news and all of the things they read so serious. I just got through preaching a sermon all about laughter and humor, and happiness, and yes, the one that goes beyond them all joy. But, it just cracks me up!

For those of you who do not know it Lark News is a Christian version of The Onion. And they, like The Onion, do a great job! I wish Lark News had a podcast like The Onion, I would love it.

So, I went over to the site to check it out and I never really played around with it before, and I must say the past few mins. have been a blast.. so here are a few things for you to do…. and most of the jokes Christians will get, but they are for everyone Christian or normal people.. so have fun:

1. Go to Lark News

2. Click on horoscope (btw, Christians do not beleive in the horoscope, and that is what makes this funny) keep clicking and read the comments the site gives you.

3. Then have some more fun by clicking on Chinese, or Bald Men up at the menu bar of the site.or the “hearing impaired and check out the change of the logo…or “visually impaired”

4. Now go into any story rerad it and laugh, then go to the top of the story and clcik on “reading impared” . (enjoy)

5. Now go back to the main page click on the same story artilce and click on the “For Eunuchs” notice a difference from #4? (oh man that is funny!)

6. Click on the FAQ… man that is one of the best FAQ’s I have EVER read!!!! EVER!

I am sure there is more stuff, but I thought I would share that little bit of laughter for your day today! Have a great one!

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Oh God, come to our assistance. O Lord, make haste to help us.

Praise the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit, both now and forever, the God who is, who was, and is the come at the end of the ages. Alleluia.

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The entire United Methodist Church is being represented by almost 1,000 people, and several hunderds more this week in Ft. Worth, TX.  They gather to discern the will of God for his people who call themselves United Methodists. This happens every four years, and the event is called General Conference. They represent clergy and laity from every conference all over the entire face of the earth. Who represent every local church in this humongous denomination. And I beg you to pray for them. My father is one of them and a sweet friend and fellow United Methodist Woman (yeah I know if you really want to know how I am one, just email or text me, heh.. it is one of the perks of being a UMC Pastor, heh)

For those of you who are not religious, or just not Christian readers, or maybe those who are attending General Conference this week, there is a movement going on in the church… the whole Christian church. Some call it Emergent, Emerging, post modernism, etc…   But it is a movement of a cry of souls from within, for those who claim Jesus as their Lord and King, who say they now live in a new Kingdom, not a democracy, not a denomination, but a Kingdom that has been ushered in by a single man/God whom was and is called Jesus, Christ, Messiah, Teacher, Friend, Brother, Son, Lord, LORD, God, Trinity person. We who claim this man as our king and savior (from selfishness, death, and power), are calling for everyone who now lives and continues to bring his Kingdom to come here on earth as it is in heaven to no longer be satisfied with the status quo, or “the way we have always done it”, or even “we honestly were following God for a time and did not realize that we were loosing touch with true Kingdom reality”.

We realized that we were just as guilty as those who came before us (and are with us now), but there is something inside of all of us that is not satisfied, quenched, or feed. We are restless, unable to hear the clear beautiful voice of God! And we are willing to sacrifice our lives, our families, our careers,  our reputations, and our homes to follow the LORD and King of  THE Kingdom! We are OK with looking like we are insane, stupid, lazy, young, and unexperienced for the sake of our Triune God, and the people and  creation that He loves!

My personal fear, is that this voice is being represented in (a VERY few) cases by those whom are laity in the UMC, and a HUGELY RARE) case (if any) by young clergy. And while there are several other hearts and souls that cry with ours that are older, we fear that they are few and far between and beg for everyone to listen to God’s still small constant voice calling us to to be the example, feet, hands, voice, and loving kindness of the one we call our King, savior, and friend.

And unless we are heard, empowered, plugged in, and joined with, then we fear that the one thing that we love and care for just as much as this creation, and those whom God loves most, is this beautiful bride of our King called the United Methodist Church. We cry out to each of us, “We Love You”, our desire is not for death, separation, or distance, but for unity, passion, authencity, peace, grace, and most of all love. The kind of love that lives and breaths. The kind of love working to bring about restoration, communication, and reformation. A love that at its core is Christ, and Christ alone for the sake of this world and all those whom live in the arms of this beautifully created earth!!!

Lord, save us! Save us while we are awake, protect us while we are asleep, that we may keep our watch with Christ, and when we sleep, rest in his peace. Alleluia!

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Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

LORD, have mercy. let us pray………………..

But here is this years Christmas Eve (morning Sermon:

Their Story, Your Story, Our Story

(don’t forget that you need Adobe Reader to Read the sermon)

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So I was looking @ the blogs I read and I saw this and I thought it was kind of cool:

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Well, I am off to go to the 6:00 pm candle light and communion service….and then another one @ 11:00 pm… I hope and pray that everyone is having a wonderful end of Advent and has a WONDERFUL Christmas!!!!

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My Apple laptop is in the shop and I hope to get it back in about a week so, I you do not get to see much of me around here, or on my email that is the reason…I feel naked…but it is probably for the best! I love each and everyone of you and I hope that whoever reads the sermon is blessed by it. Yall take care and God bless yall! KUPTs!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

So who is Fred Craddock?

Well, I believe that he is one of the premier narrative preachers in the world. When I was in Seminary I found out that the seminary kept all of the sermons that have ever been preached (that they recorded) on tape! So, then I went to one of my heroes who I consider to be on the same list mentioned above (for traditional preaching, of course)

Dr. Kalas (who was one of my professors and mentors @ Asbury Seminary)

and I asked Kalas who were the premier narrative preachers still alive today..and he mentioned two others, Craddock and

Haddon Robinson (but this is not about either one of those…yet, heh)

So, anyway I went to the tape archive section and copied everyone from both of them…and I only had maybe 20, heh…. but I listened to them all and even though my favorite sermon of the bunch was Haddon….I loved the amazing gift of the good news given through the person of Fred!

So what was his wisdom? Well, when searching his name I found someone in Georgia that gave an amazing summary of the same stuff that I am sure Dr. Craddock gave to him with another group somewhere else…so here are his main points..but to love Craddock is to love his stories more than just his points…so here are the pints and all the good quotes will follow, heh….

Craddock offered 13 statements about preaching. Here they are:
1. Respect and come to love the hours of study in the preparation of a sermon. The discipline of study brings freedom.
2. Pay close attention to words; study them, respect them, love them.
3. Have a clear grasp of anthropology. In other words, understand deeply your view of humankind. How you view people informs your sermon.
4. Create high expectations.
5. If possible–find a governing image or metaphor.
6. Build anticipation in all your ministry.
7. Be able to state the sermon in one sentence.
8. Facilitate conversation between the congregation and Scripture.
9. Be flexible with the many layers of Scripture. There is usually more than one way to understand and present a text.
10. Populate sermons with people–people with names.
11. Create materials to make your sermon more real.
12. Develop and maintain balance in your life.
13. Live with a understanding distance of God. Talking with God that authorizes talking about God.

So that is a great list to take to heart…..but if you just heard that you would have fallen asleep, here is the stuff you would have loved!!!:

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A question he always asks:
What do I think I am doing when I am preaching?

Preaching should be a habit/discipline BUT MUST contain reflection
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He talked about Chaim Perelman a man who is an author of rerhetoric not preaching). And Craddock said this”
“Good communication, is making the absent present”. If listeners can see something, then it is persuasive. He gives and example of a Chinese emperor standing in the entrance of the palace. He watches some men taking an ox to its death for sacrifice. The emperor said, “Stop turn it loose and go get a sheep!” So the men asked the emperor, “Emperor, do you prefer sheep over oxen for sacrifices?” And the emperor replied, “No, it is just that I can see the ox”.
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We must help people see it!!!

This thought is exactly what the Bible does. For instance when Abraham is on the Mt. who is on the Mt.? Abraham, Isaac, and YOU!!!

Same thing is for: Garden of Gethsemane, at the cross you hear him say, “take my mother home”, wilderness, transfiguration, etc…. YOU were allowed to be them, hear them, see them!

Do we as preachers allow the people to see and hear the event/Bible? If we do and can then it will be persuasive. And the persuasion will cause action.
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Something important to Craddock when he thinks about preaching is that the sermon 1. must get the scripture straight. (knowledge), 2. AND it must be powerful, (then he gaver a en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Lear”>King Lear quote, “My heart is in the coffin with Cesar, and I must pause until it returns me”) there is power in those words…he could have said, “I just miss him, give me a few minutes”, but instead Shakespear uses power, and those words force pause, awe, and beauty!
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The other example is:
Robert Goulet – If Ever I Would Leave You Lyrics
From the show “Camelot” (1960)
(Alan Jay Lerner / Frederick Loewe)

If ever I would leave you
It wouldn’t be in summer.
Seeing you in summer I never would go.
Your hair streaked with sun-light,
Your lips red as flame,
Your face witha lustre
that puts gold to shame!

But if I’d ever leave you,
It couldn’t be in autumn.
How I’d leave in autumn I never will know.
I’ve seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air.
I know you in autumn
And I must be there.

And could I leave you
running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
when you catch the fire’s glow?

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I’m bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!

Why not let Robert Goulet get on stage and just say, “I won’t leave you.”? (It is not knowledge, but power that makes it, IT!) (my quote is in parenthesis)

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Now I will take a pause here and say thank you to J.D. Walt. I have for quite sometime read many of his poems that he blogs all the time…and while I loved them…I never knew why and I just did not ever really “get it”……until now….so Thank you J.D….and keep them coming… I just wish I was good with words…and I really do not think that I am….but I do like photos, heh…OK back to the Craddock blog post…..

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Ok There will be more to come..but I am just too tired to keep going…yall take care and God bless yall! Next Craddock post will include a lot of one sentence wisdom!

Yall have a great night!

Feb. 7th, ‘05 evening:

They decided not to admit Jay. They said his blood work was high but stable and they felt it was very important to more Intrathecal injections of chemo. They did one today and 2 more on Wed and Fri.
So he can stay at home the other days as long as his blood work stays stable.

Jay watched the super bowl in his recliner with my dad and brother while my mom and I cleaned the house.
We are still at the hospital waiting for the usual 3 hours we have to wait until he is cleared to leave after an LP.
We can leave at 6:45.

I’m really too tired to get more detailed or tell any funny stories right now.
I’ll write more tomorrow.

Thanks,

Sheila

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The sermon I preached yesterday is linked below. The sermon was read almost exactly the way it is written. I hope that it might give some of you something to think about. and I hope that all of you are blessed by reading it….even if your not very religious……….

(wait before you click on the sermon link read the notice below it)

WHY?

(Sermon notice:
After doing lots of figuring…it seems that you will need to copy and paste the video clip url found in the sermon to view it. It iwll not open correctly if you just try to click on it. Darn you BlueTV.com!!!! Well, I really hope yal take the time to view the clip it really is a wonderful clip that illistrates the sermon very well. just just copy the web site address from in the sermon and paste it directly into your web browser to view it. Thak you oh……..

and remember that you will need to download Adobe Acrobat Reader to view the sermon and you can find the download link to the right beneath the fav. links of there on the right side —->)

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Thank yall and God bless ya! Please KUTPs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, I can’t wait for the live action Trogdor movie……Peasant’s Quest! (it takes a while to download, so be patient.

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Sheila’s Email:

Jan 15th, 2005

TODAY’S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He’s the big 35!

Today, Jay gets a broncoscopy for his birthday. They are going to look in his
lungs again because they found growths in his lungs. His white cell count is
now over a 1000 and that is going to help with the mucositis. They have set up
a colonoscopy for Monday because the full body CT Scan they did showed some type
of colitis.

I believe the doctors are trying to be extremely thorough this time since the
cancer eluded them last. He will be here at least through Tuesday I would
imagine.
We finally got a good sleeping regimen 2 pain pills and 1 Ativan keeps the pain
away and the aliens at bay.
Things are scary for him right now because they can’t figure out where the high
fever is coming from. His blood cultures are negative and the PICC line came
back negative. They think the lungs hold the answer.
He ate for the first time yesterday when he had a small cup of rice pudding and
a small container of Jello. Then they told him he couldn’t eat anything else
because of the procedure today.

They still have not put in another central line. They will put it in once the
fever is down.

For those of you who have been asking about me, I saw my Doctor yesterday and he
agreed to change my medication to the newly FDA approved drug Tysabri. I’m
celebrating no more intramuscular injections and no more flu once a week. I’ll
start it in Feb. YEAH! This should help me stay healthy to help him.

They are about to do the bronoscopy so I need to go.

Take care,

Sheila

(added Jan 17th 7:41 am MST)

Jan 17th Morning:

Well, his Birthday went well and the Steelers were kind enough to win the game
for him. It must have been even more exciting when you’re fighting the effects
of Demerol. He was in and out for the first part of the game but he wore the
terrible towel on his head (a birthday gift) to help them win (he was too tired
to wave it) at the end of the game.

The morning he is preparing to have a colonoscopy. They came in told us that
staph the infection has cleared from his blood but they found evidence of it in
his lungs. They are puzzled by this because it usually clears up everywhere
with the antibiotics. They said he may have to undergo another test to make
sure the infection is not effecting his heart.

He had another central line placed in his chest yesterday.

He is slowly getting better but they can’t release him until the infection is
cleared. He has been in here 23 days and he is really ready to go home.

Take care everyone.

Sheila

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Now after talking to someone who liked the Honda ad (Tim) he told me about the trunk monkey ads, and so I did a search on them and thought I will allow yall to enjoy in the fun of these ads:

Trunk Money Ads

and just if you have not seen the office linebacker ads from Reebok you have got to see these: (please note that there is some curssing on these (sometimes they are bleeped out) but man they are so funny…especially if your from West Texas where everything is Football, heh.)

Terry Tate: Streaker Spoof

Terry Tate: Vacation

Terry Tate: Draft Day

Terry Tate: Office Athlete

There are more of these but I am not sure where you might be able to find them, because Reebok is no long producing them. but you might be bale to find them.

Sometimes in the midst of the hard times laughter is the best medicine! Also, if you have not purchased the Strong Bad Sings CD you need to get it (Thank you Jay and Sheila for a great Christmas gift! It is so funny and reminds me of the good old Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast CDs out there!

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Ok one last thing is my sermon I preached today in church it is a lot longer than what my normal sermons are, but this is a teaching sermon, and it is all Revelation…so if you want t dig in and get a refreshing understanding of Revelation…then enjoy this sermon.

Holy living In an Unholy World (don’t forget you need to Download Adobe Reader to view the sermon. You can find the link on the right side of my blog under the links. Thanks! (feel free to discuss the sermon if you want in the comments of this blog or you can go the the church weblink in the sermon and talk about it there if you like. Thanks!)

(almost all of the facts came from Dr. Mulholland an amazing Professor that I took for Revelation in Seminary…oh and if you think that seminary’s do not have a sense of humor, the class number is 666, ha ha ha. Oh man that cracked me up, heh!)

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Thank you all for your prayers for Jay and please KUTPs!!!!!!!!!!! love ya and God bless yall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh there is something you should know about them. These two sermons were written for our “Blue Christmas Eve Service”. Which is a service for those people who Christmas is not a happy time of the year. Maybe they have lost a loved one and this is the first Christmas or an anniversary of a year without them, or what ever. Our turn out is not as big as the rest, but it is still good. Hope yall like these!

A Shepherd’s View
and
Illuminating the Darkness

(don’t forget that you need to DL (Download) Adobe Reader to view the sermons. The link to Download Adobe Reader is on the right sinde of my page over there ——>)

Merry Christmas Day and have a wonderful New Year! We are off to see the fam. so I am not sure when I will be back to blog…but I might try @ my parents home. Thanks! and God bless yall!

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Oh during the break Tiffany will get a blood test to check her Perjesterone (sp?) level, and then we will be going to get another blood test on Jan. 3rd to find out if we are Pregnant!!!!!!!!! I don’t know how long the test results will take, but I might try to keep you informed or not….heh… I really haven’t talked to tiffany about when we want to let people know if we are pregnant or not…..I guess that is important to talk to her about, heh. So…..all that to say……. Please Keep Us in Your Prayers!!!!!!!! (KUTP!!!!!!)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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1st off is a letter from the one the only Jay Hollums thanking you all for your prayers and support through his Cancer over the last few months:

Now just to give you an idea how far Jay has come, here is a picture of when I went to see him close to the first of all this Cancer stuff he was going through:

Now this one is one of Jay now. Notice the man wiping his mouth sticking out of Jay’s ear, heh):

Thank You from Jay Hollums

First, and foremost, I want to say thank you to all of the people that are reading this! I know if you are reading this you have at least at some point worried or been concerned about me. And I want you all to understand the glorious impact that your prayers have had on me and those around me.
When you first find out that you have cancer, it is very hard to believe. You just say to yourself that it is not possible. And you just wait patiently for the doctors to come back with a different reason that you are not feeling perfect. However, once it sinks in you just sit there and try to understand. I think I handled the diagnosis very well, but I had no idea what I was in for when it came to the cure. Chemotherapy is amazingly tough. For me I think it was tougher than the cancer. I just kept telling myself that my God has a purpose for everything, even if I don’t understand it. I proceeded to ask for prayers and blessings from all the people I know and the church that I love. I know that many people prayed for my health, and I will take all the prayers that people are willing to make on my behalf, but I will tell you this; I have never seen prayer work as effectively as it did this time. Not necessarily as a cure for my cancer (it is in remission and undetectable right now), but as an impact on my friends and family and myself. I have never felt so much love all the time coming from every where. Your prayers comforted me, my wife, and my family. They allowed me to feel wrapped in love and that is an AMAZING feeling. I have always said that the greatest miracle that God can do is not to move a mountain, but to change a heart. I have no doubt that through your prayers for me and my illness; MANY hearts were changed forever. If you ever wonder why people are allowed to ever get sick, then just realize the changed hearts of the people that form due to experiencing an illness or even a death are a great miracle. Sometimes, the only way to change a heart is through observation of another’s illness or death. I truly hope that your spiritual life has grown in some way as you followed my struggles.
I continue to pray for all of you in return, even if I don’t know all the names of the people that prayed for me. May God bless you all for your concern, prayers, and, more to the point, your deep abiding love. Keep praying as we all need miracles. Thank you once again, your prayers and Christ’s love hold me together day by day as this ordeal finishes up with the final testing and follow up treatments. I believe it is by the grace of God and your wonderful prayers that I am where I am today.

Your brother in Christ,

Jay Hollums
Cancer Survivor, full remission 2 months.

Here is another on of Jay and his cat looking good my brother…looking good:

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Well, I have preached twice since I posted my last sermon, so here are both of the sermons: (wait to secs for me to convert them to Adobe Acrobat….Ok done) (Don’t forget you have to have Adobe Reader to read the sermons. Thanks.)

We’re Expecting (Given last Sunday (11/28/04)

My Thanksgiving Day (Given Wednesday 11/17/04) The date on the doc. is wrong….sorry)

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Well, I have been playing a lot of Halo 2 (actually not very much due to all the stuff I have been doing, but I play one or two games every other day). One of the guys in our Clan (named The Burninators after Trogdor from Homestar Runner fame) created a desktop for all of us with a Halo 2 Trogdor theme and I thought it was so amazing (that he did at work when the “got bored”) that I had to show it here. I have shrunk it smaller just so it would fit, heh.

(Thanks La Pistola, you are da man!)

BTW: If you have Halo 2 and XBlive then please send me a message and I would love to play sometime with you!)

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Well, let’s see what else I need to post……..

Well, I have seen the largest snow fall (in the town of where I am living) I have ever been a part of last week! We had by my official measurements 10 inches in one snow fall! I was freaking out so much that I had to take photos and here are two shots of it. It does not look as good as it really was, of course, but it was really neat…except for the fact that it melted down to 3 inches by the next afternoon Oh well, it was lots of fun, and my back yard faces the north and did not melt as much, and then we got about another 3 inches, so it is still great looking.

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Well, as I said before tomorrow (I guess it is today now) is Tiffany’s Birthday, and I thought I would show you the presents I wrapped for her tonight. Good gifts if I do say so myself….small but good, heh.

Happy 30th Birthday Tiffany!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are and will always be the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!! (and don’t you forget it, heh)anyone who would like to email her a message of love or give her a hard time for living another century her email address is: tiffanyhollums@hotmail.com)

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Also, I took some photos of our house that we decorated for X-mas and I thought you might like to see what the Hollums’ house looks like with the Christmas theme, so here are a few pics:

(general shot of the living room)

(Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas Tree)

(sorry so blurry, but you can kind of see how the Firelitos/luminarios look, and almost make out the Christmas tree in the window)

(just had to show you the Grinch lamp in our kitchen)

Of course, Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus are all over our house, and it is currently 6 Degrees outside that I went out into to take the outside pic, heh. yeah I am crazy, but it was a great time that still had snow and the lights, heh.

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Well, someone remind me some time about my theory about great songs, and their one similarity that I think it common and I personally love it…but I have to save something for another post sometime…besides it might take you about 109 mins to read this one, heh.

Well, Cody it was great seeing you and the Fam, and I am very tired now so I must go to bed…I have a big day today loving the socks off of Tiffany for her Birthday! Yall have a wonderful week..oh and please KUTP for Jay, and Tiffany and I! Tiffany and I are going for our first appt. to the infertility specialist in Albq on Wednesday morning. Your prayers are powerful….you and God proved that for Jay, so I thought I would ask for your prayers on this topic and see what happens.

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Oh, yeah, for my birthday and Christmas I am building my first computer from scratch, and I just got my case, and a few other things in and I am looking forward to my motherboard to come in the 1st or 2nd week of December, so be looking for that post too. OK, well yall take care and please please know, your loved by me and by God! May you all experience love and grace flowing from the arms Jesus has wrapped around you!!!