Just wanted to let everyone know….

Ξ May 2nd, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Jay, Tiffany, family, friends, general life stuff |

The last round of shots did not work. So no pregnancy. Where this leaves us? Sad. It sucks, and it is frustrating like nothing I have ever felt before. It is so hard to ever write this. This was our 10th time to try to have a baby through the help of infertility clinics/Doctors. Tiffany has been poked and prodded, and I have give way too many “samples”. and we are just tired. We tried to take the day off and just spend some time together and that helped, but not near enough. This will be a grieving process just like Jay was those years ago. i still tear up every now and then when I or god brings him to mind, and I have a feeling that the lack of our own baby will be the same way for a few years. We will make it through it. The one thing I wish is that people would know how to talk to us. Everyone and I mean everyone is well meaning, but sometimes they should just love on us without words. Please if you know of someone who is going through this do not try to take care of them by saying:

1. Well my (instert relitative/friend) went through that same thing. just keep trying.

2. Well you know that if you adopt that you will then have a baby.

3. (say anything cheesy)

The fact of the matter is, the best way to love someone while they are going through a loss of a loved one, of the lack of a loved one is probably no words at all, unless they ask for them. But a simple, “sorry” and a hug is all that most people really need (and of course I would add in a ton of prayer, heh heh)

But I must tell you that it is torture going to church or any place else that there are several people that will ask you about it. It is a catch 22, you want tons of people praying for you, but when it does not work out, you do not want to tell them the sad news because you know that one of the three “saying” will occur, and every time you talk about it you tear up and that just makes for a crappy day.

And the real kicker…… Two Sundays from now is Mother’s day. probably the hardest day of the year for both Tiffany and me (because I don’t like seeing my wife’s soul hurt) and it is Pentecost Sunday, and it is Confirmation Sunday! I have a feeling we will be running from the church building as soon as the 2nd service is over, heh.

But, thank you for your prayers, and i want you to know that through the tears we praise God for helping us know a little more direction of where He desires for us to go when it comes to children. Now we get to look forward to what ever God has in store for us in the future! maybe adoption, but we have no idea when or how, but I promise we will be loving God through it.

(oh and you will not be able to leave comments on this post, heh heh)